Concepts
I started the day by listening to some Massive Attack … nothing like trip hop (aka acid rap) to set the mood of the day. The sound is unique … It is dark and sad … with a very subtle hint of anger. It is the creative and elegant manifestation of fears, doubts and insecurities.
About two weeks ago, I passed my PhD candidacy exam. My oral defense (according to the exam committee) was perfect. However, one comment was made that troubled me. I was told that I did not conceptualize the topic to the fullest. What troubled me about this … was the fact that I knew it … I knew that I was too focused on the details. Even when I tried to change this … I could not. I was just too tangled up with the trivial details of who did what … when and where … why and how.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the conceptualization of reality … Reducing everything to its fundamental truth. Life would be easier to understand … relationships would be easier to build … characters would be easier to maintain.
My inability to conceptualize important events in my life led me to where I am today- alone with half a million thoughts racing through my head. The details of everything that ever happened to me don’t want to go away … they are locked up in my mind … and decaying very slowly. If only I can see the truth behind everything that happened.
